Those ZAARG people really got to me. Why would I want to just “accept” this? There’s nothing to accept! I’m human! I’ve just got this little decay problem, and my friends and family still aren’t used to it, but that’s not the same thing as being a zombie. I will never, EVER take a chunk out of another human being! And really, is a real zombie capable of developing his own merchandise? (Shameless plug! CafePress store!)
Seriously, though, you all know me by now. You’re on my side, right? You know I’m not like them.